Weekly Reflections IV - Trying To Hang On...

Contents:

My Personal Growth Progress

After Church Thoughts

2 In The Morning Thoughts

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Sunday, Sep 7, 2:15pm (after church)

This week has given me an opportunity to reflect on my faith and my surroundings and how they seem to correlate. Admittedly I accompany isolation with great faith and congregating with scattered faith. This probably isn't the best correlation, it just seems to be what I've experienced lately. 

As I'm writing I realize that I've allowed my mind to be conditioned to beleave this correlation. I also realize I have the authority and capability to rewire my mind to beleave whatever I want it to. And I want to experience people that offer the frequency of great faith in God, for self and all others. 

I'm also remembering that we tend to receive the same frequencies we radiate. And if that's the case, then what frequency am I radiating right now? I do my best to intentionally radiate love daily.

I feel like I'm in this "mushy" place. This place where I'm coming out of a peaceful isolation and not sure who or where to cling to or if I should cling at all. I mean I have God. This is why I began going to church, to see if this is where I should cling...although I'm painfully resistant. 

This is my second Sunday attending church. The message was brief and compelling, "Circles Over Rows". 

The guest speaker, Pastor Rock Mutegheki, discussed the importance of engaging deeper than just being in the rows of a church by creating engaging small circles with aligned individuals. He suggested a verse from the Bible, "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." -Matthew 18:20. 

Pastor Rock shared three things that holds a small circle of God together. I took notes today...

1. Fellowship- spending genuine consistent time together

2. Harmony- being pure and in tune with each other

3. Agreement- being aligned with God

The action he suggests is to join what the church calls a connect group. Since this is only my second time attending, I wasn't sure what a connect group was so I looked on the website. They are small groups led by volunteers (any member can create a group) in the Church that spend about an hour together once a week doing various things and just enjoying the vibe of God. Is this not what I've been looking for!? 😆

There are so many groups! The two I seen that made me want to give it a try were the walking club and a lunch club. The walking club meet up at different nature spots and just walk and talk! The lunch club meet up at different restaurants to try new food and talk! 

I've always been more of a loner and just share my personal things with God. Pastor Rock discussed that as well...it's almost like he was speaking directly to me today. This is where the verse was referenced, "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." -Matthew 18:20. 

He shared the understanding that we are more powerful when two or three agree versus just one. Not in a way to minimize one's personal prayer power but to demonstrate how one can maximize prayer power by aligning with a few harmonized souls. 

So in an effort to be intentional about my personal growth, I'm going to attend a connect group in the next 30 days. I have to join the church first but I haven't had the opportunity to hear the main pastor speak yet. Hopefully he will this upcoming Sunday. 

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These past few weeks has really shown me the gaps or holes I have in my productivity. I thought I was organized but incorporating this "weekly" blog has shown me how much I can improve my daily work tasks. It's been a few weeks since I've done an article or podcast post and that's because I'm not as efficient as I beleaved myself to be. The blog has been a way of tracking myself in a sense and apparently I have to get more disciplined with sticking to a daily work routine. It's been almost three weeks since I've posted. 😶

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Sep 11, 1:57am

So I'm just now getting back to this post...two days later. I was about to beat myself up about this but I'm a mom and a business owner and this happens. It's preventable, but it happens. 

I know when I get back in the gym consistently, I'll be more consistent in all other parts of my life. I don't know why it happens that way but it does. I'll be back in the gym on Monday. 

I just went through a rough past few weeks. My son moved out and I really didn't know how much it would effect me. He's only 30 minutes away but it's not the same as having him in the house. I'm not being a clingy cling and calling all the time or anything like that...but it's been an internal war not to. 😅 Going from 18 years and 9 months of being with a person everyday to a few times a month is an adjustment. I'm adjusting...slowly I guess. 

In addition to not working out this week and last week, I was slipping on reading, meditating, and journaling as well. Do better than me. 

Random thought...

I've had to teach myself to stop saying what I'm going to do. I'm still teaching myself. For example, I was about to say, I'm going to start posting a gym pic every time I workout to hold myself accountable. It sounds nice, but am I going to do it? Just like I said I would be posting weekly here and it's been a few weeks since my last post. I did it two days ago about joining a connect group (which I am). I just need to either get it together and do what I say I'll do one-hundred percent of the time or just stop announcing what I'm going to do and simply do it. It's almost like I have to say it out loud to make myself beleave myself because I've fumbled before... 

It's ok though, just get right back up, tell self we got this because God got us. And besides, you don't have to beleave when you know. And I know.😌

I know I need an accountability group. Every successful person has one, though most are simply a byproduct. Pastors have the church. Politicians have the people. Celebrities have fans. Athletes have coaches and teammates. Business people have employees and/or shareholders. So naturally, people like me have accountability groups lol. That's my logic. Which means my focus for a connect group is accountability. 

I'm going to get my life together. It's 2:52am. Peace and love good people.

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PS: I don't like that "believe" is spelled with the word lie in it. Writing it can be tricky to the brain. Just BE in the now and LEAVE the past behind. Beleave. Anything is possible in the now. I like that better.😎

Also, I still haven't repotted the bell peppers. They are still growing so that's good...

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RIP to those fallen + Deep Love to all effected by 9/11

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